'In love with a divorcee'

on Jul 19, 2013 , 09:50 am
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I am 25 years old and madly in love with my neighbour who is divorced and has a 4-year-old son.
I have tried telling my parents of my love for her but nobody seems to understand my feelings. My parents are threatening to throw me out of their house if I continue to have any relationship with that woman.

We both are emotionally and physically involved with each other and now there is no looking back for us. But my family thinks of her as a 'daayan' and a homebreaker. Why is this stigma attached to divorced women in India?

Why can I not marry a divorcee? Please help me
Rashmi Katiyar
why is the woman divorced? Especially after having a kid. You need to know this. Yes there could be abuse and all that but don'r forget it takes a very strong woman to divorce her husband in india. Will you be able to cope up with such a strong woman throughtout your life? Not saying that you should marry a doormat either. Secondly, the woman already has a son from her previous marriage. Do you think there will be no contact with her past? Whenever there is a child in between, no marriage can break completely. Lastly, do you think her son will accept you as his father? At present he is too young but as he gets old enough, he might just resent you for taking his father's place. The child's own father and his family might never let the child go. All this is going to make the life very stressful. Do you want such a complicated life? The divorced woman that you are seeing might just have been out to hook a man to give herself and her son a family life. It maynot be love from your side. And being phsically involved with you when there is a child at home speaks volumes of her character. Like somebody rightly said, you need a change of place to think through things. Get away and stay out of contact with the lady for a few months. Take a transfer, tell her you are going abroad.Don't contact her at all and make sure you meet new people. Let's see how you feel after that.
on Jul 22, 2013 , 11:20 am
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Satish Gupta
soch beta jo pahale pati ko divorce de sakti hai woh dusare ke sath kitna din rahegi.........Satish
on Jul 22, 2013 , 11:09 am
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Salman
blady have you ever think about his past y his wife taken divorce some resion must be their......without thinkeing anything you are folling in love.......hahahah...nonsence
on Jul 22, 2013 , 08:40 am
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Navanath Shelke
this is not good for all lives because u r to little to handle such think, if u are capable u hv to leave ur home.
on Jul 22, 2013 , 07:52 am
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Vinay Mishra
I just dont understand why people below has given one sided comments.. Dude, please give a rethink on your relation with the woman. Its your parents and family who are going to stay for you for long in difficult situations of you. Please, DO NOT spoil your family relations just because of A Moment's spur. You are just 25. your parents may be of double your age, they are experience and have seen life. you are young blood. just because hormones caused by physical touch, Please do not go against your parents. try to talk with your parents peacefully. If result is negative, silently walk out of relation with the woman.. you have already done the damage. be ready for harsh come up either way.
on Jul 21, 2013 , 07:58 pm
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Balaji Mahesh Krishnan
If you have confidence and are financially stable just move out of your house. Ask the lady if she is too ready for this the move out of locale. if you are not financially stable first stabilize yourself in career say in six months. Win the lady's respect further move out it is your life
on Jul 21, 2013 , 05:39 pm
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Subrahmanya Bhat
It is unfortunate that we are part of this society. Are you financially independent and will be able to take care of yourself and your family? If yes, be firm and come out of the family, marry her. If not, make arrangement for financial stability and then do this. I wish you all the best.
on Jul 21, 2013 , 05:14 pm
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Liyakat Mapkar
Great job, do it. Please marriage... Best regards,
on Jul 21, 2013 , 03:17 pm
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Bhaskar Mitra
You are thinking with your penis not your mind. Take a step back and make a rational decision after considering pros and cons. Marriage these days is an occupational hazard for men...more so with a divorcee. Don't buy into women's sob stories so easily - every story has multiple aspects to it and it is not always a man's fault that marriage breaks down. Young and inexperienced guys can easily fall prey to machinations of older women and never see it coming. When a woman, especially an older one, wants a man she goes about the process in a very rational and cold manner. Love does not factor into it. Naive young un's brainwashed by movies believe in fairytales. Your parents are right in advising caution.
on Jul 21, 2013 , 01:25 pm
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Shashikaanthb.s. Balepura
It is quite normal for your parents to think, normally under a circumstances, a divorce takes place because of fault by both sides, now your parents will be thinking that your life will get spoiled by marrying her. Now u need to think on many angles, she already has a child, will u accept her children as yours suppose you marry her, you need to know the actual reason for divorce also, she has to share everything about her past life, it should not happen that certain things are hidden from you which will pose problems for you later, you will need to meet her parents also, if parents are there, why is she not staying with them. Think on all angles and then take a decision, but your parents are also equally important, do not ignore them, think from all points of view.
on Jul 21, 2013 , 01:17 pm
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