‘Help! In-laws moving in with me’

on Jan 31, 2014 , 03:35 pm
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I got married six months back. My husband and me have been living in Gurgaon. Since both of us are not from here, his parents don't stay with us. And to tell you the truth, I kind of like the arrangement. We get our privacy and can do our own thing without interference. However, my husband just informed me that his parents are going to move in with us next month.

He seems to be very excited about it. But I am really worried and freaking out. Help!! Tell me what should I do? How do I tell my husband that I dont want his parents to move in with us? Tell me what to do.
Indranilchow Indranilchow
In india this issue can not be solved
on Jun 03, 2014 , 11:29 pm
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Aargee
A load on the earth.
on Jun 03, 2014 , 08:11 pm
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Aargee
Most selfish person on planet.
on Jun 03, 2014 , 08:10 pm
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Gopiraman Alok
pls share ur findings with others
on Jun 03, 2014 , 06:31 pm
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Niks Shine
i guess , you would get to learn many new things while your in-laws 'd we with you.. Enjoy the time buddy & learn every new thing happily... :) after all they are also part of your life.. good luck !!!!
on Feb 07, 2014 , 09:48 pm
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Rajdeep Das
U r such a cheap. Wish you daughter in law gave u same treatment in future. Your karma will catch you for sure.. this is how your parents teach you manners? shame on you..
on Feb 04, 2014 , 01:01 pm
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Ichigo
First of all what u are going through is absolutely normal. Why? It is the dilemma of every bahu in India ..loll Our so called society (Indian) is setup that way. Talk of equal rights, your husband is allowed to bring in his parents then you should also be allowed to do same. Who is going to take care of your parents? Did u get my point? Now back to your situation. Mother in law situation. Just relax and talk to your partner. Lay down some ground rules. Give it some time. The situation has pros and cons. If pros go in your favor then u don't even need advices from me or others : D Everyone will tell their opinion but in the end "are u comfortable with them?" that only u can answer. And u can answer that after spending some time with them (in laws). Ok so relax enjoy life :) You should comment back here after spending a few days with your in laws, let everyone know ur experience :)
on Feb 02, 2014 , 07:08 pm
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Pri
parents never think of privacy while bringing up children. but alas, when they grow old, privacy becomes the priority for the younger lot. difference of opinion, generation gap exists everywhere..but presence of elders in your life and in your home is such a blessing u know. consider urself fortunate if you are in their shelter. you may have your privacy even when they are there coz who wants solitude 24/7. time will make you think different. and as you grow age will make you thoughtful towards them...i hope. and i hope that time comes soon.good luck
on Feb 02, 2014 , 04:30 pm
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Prakhar Patni
Are you a moron....do you have a brother....what will happen if your sister in law does the same to them...i am sure you will then be against your sister in law then...before marriage did you live alone or with your parents...i am assuming you lived with your parents...why did you not ask them to give you some privacy...and when you got married why you did not present this concern that i don't want in-laws...grow up now...and respect your husband's family...otherwise don't expect him to respect yours...please dont say anything about your inlaws...i am sure it will backfire you...i am sure your husband views would be similar to all the men in this forum
on Feb 02, 2014 , 09:17 am
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Peepa Loma
That's a hard situation. As a newly wed, it is nice to enjoy time by yourselves for a while. When I was newly married I wish I had been given advice to be kind to everybody in the situation, especially to myself. I do not have a complete idea of your life/finances and situation. For instance, are your in-laws able to support themselves? Are they retired? What is your financial situation? Do both of you work outside the home? Are there other siblings who could help? Before having a showdown with your husband, try to see options that you can offer. For instance, is it possible for them to move to the same city as you? Or to the same apartment complex, but a different flat? As they age and your marriage is more established and you are more settled financially are you able to move to a bigger house together? If it turns out that they move in with you, what are going to be each of your responsibilities? Will you be required to cook on your days off? When will you and your husband get "your" time? Whether it is your parents or in-laws, having other adults move in with you is always a difficult situation. There is nothing to be ashamed of in having a negative reaction to it. It does not mean that you do not love your in-laws or are unwilling to take on responsibilities. Since you have been married for just 6 months, I am assuming that you are in your 20s and the in-laws in the late 50s. Please think about how you will present this situation to your husband. Be kind and clear. Explain that you have misgivings and that you would have them even if it were your parents moving in. Tell him that the dynamics/expectations between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law can be difficult and that you would like to make sure that there is a happy outcome for all involved. More importantly, a decision needs to be made jointly by you and your husband. Also, when (notice not "if") issues arise, make sure that you and your husband are on the same page, discuss things before hand in a calm manner. Take care and good luck.
on Feb 02, 2014 , 08:47 am
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