Why is marriage scary?

on Apr 30, 2013 , 03:03 pm

When I was growing up, I thought there was nothing more important than finding a guy who loves you. And when you find that guy, you commit your life or rather subsequent lifetimes to this person. And alas, you get married to him.

Marriage to an Indian woman is a lifelong relationship, so has to be the most important one indeed. All of us know this even when we are too little to understand what that really means.

Luckily I met my Mr. right when I was all of 20. He is just the perfect guy, and now, seven years later, everything seems to get better every passing day. He is more than a knight in shining armor, not there to just "save me".... he is there to help me! There was no formal proposing, just mutual acceptance that we should now "tie the knot." His friends were getting married, mine were producing babies and it did feel like right thing to do. My relationship status now is 'married'.

My friends think I couldn't have asked for more from life, and parents are happy handing me over to someone they trust will make the best husband and son-in-law to them.

If love is a "dream," marriage should be like living it right? WRONG.

Marrying the love of your life is just one part of the story, the rest is learning.

When I was dating my husband, life seemed perfect because we spent not more than 3-4 hours together. After spending those magical hours either in a beautiful cafe or a movie theatre,I along with my husband would go back to the comforts of our homes.

Now, life has taken a different turn. We're both together, all the time. While this may seem oh-so-romantic, but trust me girls, IT IS NO. You do need your breathing place and space. Space is a very integral part of any growing relationship. If a partner keeps intruding in the other partner's space, your relationship will suffer dire consequences.

So it's just been a few months since I married my husband, and each passing day seems like a learning experience. And as the wise old man's saying goes, ' You grow as your learn'.

Afifa Shomail
It depends from person to person, location to location and of course family generation. What we call is Khaaandaaan. I fully believe in this Khaandhaan stuff. If family is good even though you have a arrange marriage it will blossom to love and understanding. Its been 3+yrs.People think we're still in dating face even after parenting. Space is important but more than that communication. Communication gap is the cause of all evil, hurt, etc feeling.
on May 11, 2013 , 05:21 pm
Debashis Sarkar
All these learning experience, sacrifice and compromise comes in an Indian marriage just becuase we have this 'marriage is forever' concept. Its more like " I am married so I will have to make this work under any circumstances throughout my life or what will people say...." With changing times, it has become difficult to maintain marriage especially single handedly.
on May 10, 2013 , 10:20 am
Neha Singh replies to Debashis Sarkar
Ur right, it's BS to be so passive n keep doing all the learning even after ur an adult.So mny marriages r working only on one person..Hw much cn a person take n especially when the other is as good as not there..I hte the Indian system n it's bttr to get sum Int'l exposure..
on May 11, 2013 , 07:03 pm
Neha Singh
Good to know an honest opinion..but I think sacrificing freedom for love is one turn I wouldn't like to take..Ur humble to look at this as a learning experience, coz most ppl are already accomplished by the time they get hitched..
on Apr 30, 2013 , 08:54 pm
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