Top 10 lessons from Kama Sutra!

Created by Nivedita Gupta - 2nd May, 2014

If you thought that Kama Sutra is all about sex positions and enhancing your bedroom pleasure, read these top lessons that would give you an insight into this sex-guide like never before. Penned down by Vatsyayana, Kama Sutra is beyond sexual relationship between a man and a woman. It is about exploring each other, living a happily married life and telling you tips on how you can work upon your relationships.

Here are the top 10 lessons that every couple must learn from Kama Sutra.

Kissing builds the fervour
Kama Sutra details not only on the importance of kissing but different types that a couple can try. The sex guide nicely elaborates how different people respond differently to kissing, so it is very important that you know your partner well and accordingly choose the type of kiss that would excite them the most. For instance a stirring kiss is so warm and seductive that it can arouse a man who is not in a mood for sex. Then, one can also try 'Awakening kiss', which starts slowly but gradually becomes rough and is basically used to convey your desire and mood. 

Seduction is an art
Better and longer the foreplay act,  more you would be able to enjoy action between the sheets. Yes, Kama Sutra only adds on to this notion. Though if you think that foreplay is a waste of time and you can arouse your partner straight in the bed also, don’t do that… make sure to spend time seducing each other and use moves that are enticing and exciting in nature. 

Sexual moves make the difference
The best thing you can pick from the world's oldest guide on love, sex and spirituality is the best sex positions and move that you can try with your partner. Needless to mention, no one else can give such an insight into sex positions that can keep couples together and give them incredible sexual pleasure. Try to experiment with new positions, extend the duration of your sexual act and give more importance to satisfying each other and not just think about your pleasure.

Marriage is a lifelong bond
Many people think that marriage is a contract and a transaction, which, if does not meet the results can be called off. Basically, couples don’t think twice parting ways and they feel divorce is a option that is like ‘given’. But No. According to Kama Sutra, marriage is a relationship that lasts for a lifetime and a couple has to put in whatever efforts it takes to accomplish this. Contrary to what most of you may think, Kama Sutra says that ‘deep and intimate trust’ forms the core foundation  of a marriage. While there might be endless compilations in a couple’s married life but they cannot divulge details about their life to people outside.  

Sex is not an obligation
This possibly is the biggest blunder any couple can make. While you may think you are doing your best by indulging in a steamy lovemaking session, expecting gratitude in return or making it sound like a favour is a strict no-no. Kama Sutra asserts that you should do whatever it takes to make your lovemaking session the best and the most memorable one. Have the right settings with fragrance, decorations, flowers etc enjoy a prolonged foreplay instead of just jumping into the bed and gearing up for the action. Make sex a part of your married life not the only thing that you have between you.

Know what your woman wants
Even if you thought for the longest time that it is impossible to please a woman, Kama Sutra asserts that men must give it a try. They should know what their woman wants and what makes her happy. Read her gestures, actions, understand her vulnerabilities and that would in turn help you to read her mind and know what she is desiring for. So even if you are not in mood for sex, but you have realised that she is, make sure she gets that. Be a storyteller if possible, as women love to hear emotional and romantic tales. If you have any special memories in the past, use them as aphrodisiacs to build passion.

Give what your man wants
If a man is putting in efforts to please his woman, Kama Sutra advices women also to be as giving as possible. Know about sexual fantasies your man may have and accordingly try to satisfy him. Even if that means going that extra mile to ignite passion, don’t hesitate. Don’t hold any inhibitions rather make him realise that you are as much enthusiastic as he is about having a great romp.

Select your man carefully
While everyone including men give enough heed to the kind of girl they want to have in their life as their life partner but what about men? Kama Sutra tells you to be equally careful while deciding the man who would come into your life and it states that women must judge the man for his worth. Addressing the concerns and choices of modern Indian women while choosing their partner, Kama Sutra has also kept in mind any woman's needs and a man's psychology. The man should be generous, grateful and giving but at the same time, he has to be genuinely interested in you or else none of these traits would be of any use.

Pick an ideal wife for yourself
Though most of you may believe that ‘it is impossible to understand women and what she wants’, but Kama Sutra asserts that it is important to know a woman to be able to seek an ideal wife. It tells you to judge a woman on parameters such as how well she juggles between responsibilities, runs the house, cooks in the kitchen, handles the money, deals with in-laws, contributes in household finances, adjusts in the family, track family income and so on. As for the age difference between a man and woman, Kama Sutra suggests a minimum three year age gap with the man being elder.

If it is over, accept it!
Lot of couples continue living in a failed marriage just because they feel it is the only option but Kama Sutra is strictly against it. The sex-guide emphasises on the fact that if you have been in a dirty relationship for a longer period of time and you have tried all ways to rectify it but all in vain, it is only better to accept the reality and talk it out. Accept that it is over and move on, rather than sulking all the time.