"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."
I have a friend who started dating this guy around a year ago. My friend till a few months back was a bundle of joy. I remember I would yearn to spend time with her. Her exuberance and her positive energy was something that I found astonishing. She had everything going great for her; she was beautiful, intelligent, placed in the country's best company. Yup, she had it all!
Then love struck and she fell head over heels in love with a guy from her college. The couple soon started dating and were always spotted together. Being in the same college helped their case and they couldn't have asked for anything more.
Yet, destiny had something terrible in store for them. The famous Indian caste card came into play. Yup, this story is from the 21st century; don't raise eyebrows, this shit still happens. So now, the girl is a North Indian while the boy hails from a very conservative Tam-Brahm family. Yikes!
The amalgamation of both these worlds is a war in its own.
So one fine day, the boy gets a call from his mother. She informed her son of his engagement to this really pretty, 'sati savitri' Tam-Brahm girl.
The boy and the girl were in a distraught. How could the evil mother play her role so well? How could she end this beautiful long lasting magic that the couple had been sharing? And then came the most disturbing question of them all. Will the boy stick with the love of his life, or will he fall prey to his family pressures?
After days of crying and howling over the phone, the guy finally mustered up the courage to tell the girl, 'Babe, I cannot hurt my family, I have to break up with you.'
First lesson learnt! Almost all men are and will always be their mama's boys.
The poor girl became a mess. She lost kilos after kilos, developed dark circles, was sleep deprived and drank alcohol like it was water.
She was experiencing what all of us have experienced at least once in our lifetimes- A heartbreak.
The girl would wake up in the middle of the night crying and howling. She started getting panic attacks and in that moment of anxiety, she would call her beloved, her everything!
Guess what the boy on the other side would say, 'Why are you calling me now, its over, move on'.
Second lesson learnt! Don't give any man the power to hurt you.
A heartbeak has the power to tear you from inside. It ruptures the good thinking brain and replaces it with bizarre emotions that are hard to comprehend by a normal man.
But a heartbreak does get worse if the person who is at the receiving end, does not LET GO.
I know its not as easy as I made it sound, but to get out of the depression wreck, it is almost necessary to start letting go of the person who caused you so much pain in the first place.
The letting go phenomenon is something that not many heartbreakers get used to. It is because of their silliness that they fall trap to severe depression and eventually, commit suicide.
I have been counseling my friend who is completely wrecked by now, and am trying hard for her to come out of this vicious circle.
Trust me, sometimes you're better off without the person than with him. If only this could be understood with such subtlety. Sigh