Going in for arranged marriages not easy

on Jul 25, 2013 , 04:54 pm

Going in for an arranged marriage isn't an easy decision. For the past few months I have been undergoing the process of meeting prospective grooms and I must say it hasn't been an easy ride.

My parents have been looking onto different matrimonial sites to find a perfect match for me. Every day they list down 10-12 suitors, which later come down to only two.

While at one hand the idea of having an arranged marriage looks exciting to me because of that curiosity factor involved, but at the same time the fear of making a wrong choice, always haunts me.

It's really difficult to decide whether a person is suitable for you, in just one or two meetings, but as the procedure goes by, one has to take a decision in just two meetings only. I really don't have any criteria in my mind that I would need 'these' qualities in my life partner rather it just has to click from within.

Frankly speaking, I have met a few suitors and they turned out to be good as far as their educational or family backgrounds are concerned. They had pleasant personalities but still there is always a fear to choose the right, which makes it really difficult for me to take a decision.

We meet and we come back to our respective homes and later there is no communication from both sides. How would one get to know that this person is right for you? I still haven't been able to figure that out?

Does this happen to all people, who go for arranged marriages or it's just me whose thinking too much.

Shalini D
Finally someone asking the same question I have been asking. I was beginning to think no body thinks about how impossible it is to truly know if a person is right for you in such a short time. And if they do then obviously no one talks about this part of it!!! :-/ It's all about after the marriage. People hardly talk about the process of choosing and decision making and everything about it. I think it's really important to do that.
on Mar 01, 2014 , 02:52 pm
Zooby Dimple
Whether its arranged or love marriage, most important thing is understanding what interests you in another person - ZoobyDooby (www.zoobydooby.com) helps you discover that ... check it out!
on Jan 02, 2014 , 01:54 pm
Saurabh India
Once you find the right man then first do a thorough inquiry about him. Contact his neighbors or meet someone (not his relative) who has known him for long.
on Oct 22, 2013 , 11:08 pm
Monika Rawal replies to Saurabh India
@Saurabh, do you really think these things help? I mean we know how smart people are these days... and everyone knows about this inquiry things, so if they have to lie and cheat, they would make all possible arrangements to fool you and sadly you can't even make out.
on Jan 08, 2014 , 03:52 pm
Avik Ghose
Take it as a dating exercise with the parents as broker. Go out with a bunch of them and then take an informed decision. Don't rush it on a 2 hour slot, it's impossible that way and I must say your fears are real
on Jul 31, 2013 , 11:27 pm
Shiv Pandey
You are thinking too much. Firstly doesn’t mix arrange marriage with love marriage? Love marriage give you change to interact more but can’t guarantee that he will behave same way in future or in odd situation. People personalities changes with time so can’t be claimed completely understood and in case of arrange marriage it’s even really hard as people always show their best behavior. Though portals provide lots of information such as education, job, salary, family status, photo, hobbies, like and dislikes, vision of life, what he is looking in his partner etc. It usually gives idea about person. Rest they provide you facility to exchange email-id or phone so start your communication. I suggest start talking to them first before involving your families, ask your concerns, ask his expectations. People usually feel more comfortable while talking on phone or email rather “Face-To-Face”. My cousin is doing the same way on portal these days. Good Luck.
on Jul 31, 2013 , 12:52 am
Your fear is quite natural and most women have this. The best way is to do a live-in as you can never gauge someone by meeting them for a few hours or few days. You have to know them in different situations, how they behave, how they reciprocate, how well mannered they are etc. And that only can be known when you live for a while, maybe 3 months or 6 months or even more, even better. You also should try being physical. If the physical relationship is not rewarding, marital life becomes crazy.
on Jul 29, 2013 , 02:06 am
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